When I talk with my little self I can feel clear as a bell, serene, and radiant. Her requests are generally simple and up-font, mostly she asks for recognition and acceptance. Her fears are expressed with a deep pain, which comes from a very deep place inside. These fears are reactions that Judger feeling, which comes from my left side, behind me and says horrible harsh things. I heard the fear from Little self before I could reveal the judgers voice. 

I heard little Self crying: She said, “I probably have nothing to offer anyone else anyways! Im alone and a failure!” I said, “my darling! That can’t be true! I know you have so much to offer anyone who would receive your love!” She said, “No one gives me a space to do what I do! There’s no recognition for my talents! Im tap dancing, and no one sees me!” This horrible black hole had opened inside of me, right at my core—it was sucking everything in, drying me out. I fell over and slept to cleanse myself for 17 hours. I fed myself, I held my little self, and walked in the sun. I stayed in an open place, open arms—and waited for my Little self to come forward, shining, not in fear, but in joy. 

We traveled together back to a time when these needs were met, so she could show me how it felt to be recognized and rewarded. I felt fathers kind words of praise for my intelligence and creativity, and I saw an assembly room full of people witness to my name called for an award given in excellence and merit. My days were spent in creativity and friendship. And swimming in the sun.  
I bought a ticket to Mexico to Climb Pyramids and swim with whale sharks, I accepted an invitation to a Craft Faire, I framed my phony degree, I ate white fish, I bought flowers for myself and played the applause of the award ceremony for me in my mind, I accepted 1000 tasteful compliments from men.
  
Untitled, Crystal Interior/ Interior Planes series, mixed media on paper.